Ok, I never thought by choosing to birth naturally outside of a hospital setting would cause so much hype.. but I guess people just can't wrap their minds around it, so I'm here to lay it out for you. I really shouldn't have to explain why I'm choosing to experience a life event concerning me and my child that I plan on having as beautiful and unadulterated as possible, but apparently I do.
Here's a silly (nice choice of wordage) question I've been hearing a lot lately...
People: what made you decide on doing natural childbirth?
Me: your answer can be found in your question... It's natural.
It's generally moms who have given birth with an epidural or have had a c-section who ask... And I'm pretty surprised by the tone in which they ask, as if I'm committing some crime or am just plain stupid.
Funny thing is you'll never hear me rebuttal by saying, "what made you choose a birth involving drugs?" First of all it's your birth, so who am I to question you.. it is just kind of ironic to me that by me choosing NOT to intercede I get questioned. Moreover, most moms I know who went natural don't invade your choice. Do we have our opinions about a medicated and/or hospital birth? Of course we do, just like you have your opinions.
Let me try and explain this with an example...
People: what made you decide on doing natural childbirth?
Me: your answer can be found in your question... It's natural.
It's generally moms who have given birth with an epidural or have had a c-section who ask... And I'm pretty surprised by the tone in which they ask, as if I'm committing some crime or am just plain stupid.
Funny thing is you'll never hear me rebuttal by saying, "what made you choose a birth involving drugs?" First of all it's your birth, so who am I to question you.. it is just kind of ironic to me that by me choosing NOT to intercede I get questioned. Moreover, most moms I know who went natural don't invade your choice. Do we have our opinions about a medicated and/or hospital birth? Of course we do, just like you have your opinions.
Let me try and explain this with an example...
If you had the choice (time, money, ect) would you prefer to eat foods that are organic/all natural, OR laden with chemicals, additives and have been processed? I'm going to guess you'd rather put food into your body the way nature intended correct? Even more so if we're talking about the foods you would give to your kids. I'm guessing you'd prefer them to eat a bowl of organic fruit rather than a fruit roll-up as a snack. But let's face it, certain foods are just easier to eat because they are convenient. Hey, I'm with you on that. If I had a lot of money and time on my hands I'd shop weekly at Whole Foods and the farmers market preparing healthy, wholesome meals for me and my family. But honestly... Why spend $400 at Whole Foods when we can get a weeks worth of food at Aldi or Food Lion for $75? Again it comes down to one word: convenience. Another example, I get McDonalds if I'm out and about and short on cash if I'm hungry... Is it good for me? Heck no, but it sure was easier then parking and walking inside of a Harris Teeter, going to the salad bar, sitting down and taking 10 minutes to eat... God forbid I do that when I can pack on the calories and fat by driving through a Micky D's drive thru. Hey I'm being honest and I'm guilty as charged!
Lets try and tie this food example back to child birth shall we? Why do MOST women get an epidural? (Please understand that I know there are cases where epidurals are a last resort; same goes with inducing and C-sections.. but it's pretty rare) They get it because it also comes down to one word: convenience. You might say, "no, it's because I don't want to feel any pain and be as comfortable as possible." Valid reason, but again, it's convenient. It's funny how we as a nation will make such a big deal about the foods we eat, but when it comes to our bodies and our babies bodies we just "trust" the way birth has always been done in the US... in the hospital. News flash... birthing in a hospital is a new trend believe it or not, it's only been popular for the last 100 years or so. Not a very long time when you consider how long women have been giving birth. In my *humble* opinion, hospitals are where sick people go to be healed. And for those that are too far gone for healing, they die there. Well last time I checked, being pregnant doesn't mean I'm sick or dying. So I will be avoiding a hospital unless my midwives sense a VALID cause for concern where me or my baby are in harms way. And since they genuinely care about the natural way of birth, they will not make preemptive decisions about my birth to save time or legal action (like doctors usually do, hate to break it to you).
You have to understand... I used to be 100% gung-ho on having hospital birth with an epidural and wanted a labor that was "easy" and no one was gunna tell me any different! But I started doing research and learned a lot of "interesting" facts, not just about epidurals but about the medical model of hospital births in the US and to be honest, it scared me to death. So I am choosing a route that is the complete opposite because I don't want to step foot near a hospital in labor. And I pray everyday that my birth goes amazing and that will be the case. But as I stated in a previous post, I would be thankful for the hospital in ensuring the safety of me or my baby if a true emergency arises... But Lord willing, that won't happen.
Lets try and tie this food example back to child birth shall we? Why do MOST women get an epidural? (Please understand that I know there are cases where epidurals are a last resort; same goes with inducing and C-sections.. but it's pretty rare) They get it because it also comes down to one word: convenience. You might say, "no, it's because I don't want to feel any pain and be as comfortable as possible." Valid reason, but again, it's convenient. It's funny how we as a nation will make such a big deal about the foods we eat, but when it comes to our bodies and our babies bodies we just "trust" the way birth has always been done in the US... in the hospital. News flash... birthing in a hospital is a new trend believe it or not, it's only been popular for the last 100 years or so. Not a very long time when you consider how long women have been giving birth. In my *humble* opinion, hospitals are where sick people go to be healed. And for those that are too far gone for healing, they die there. Well last time I checked, being pregnant doesn't mean I'm sick or dying. So I will be avoiding a hospital unless my midwives sense a VALID cause for concern where me or my baby are in harms way. And since they genuinely care about the natural way of birth, they will not make preemptive decisions about my birth to save time or legal action (like doctors usually do, hate to break it to you).
You have to understand... I used to be 100% gung-ho on having hospital birth with an epidural and wanted a labor that was "easy" and no one was gunna tell me any different! But I started doing research and learned a lot of "interesting" facts, not just about epidurals but about the medical model of hospital births in the US and to be honest, it scared me to death. So I am choosing a route that is the complete opposite because I don't want to step foot near a hospital in labor. And I pray everyday that my birth goes amazing and that will be the case. But as I stated in a previous post, I would be thankful for the hospital in ensuring the safety of me or my baby if a true emergency arises... But Lord willing, that won't happen.
So assuming all goes well, being that I am low risk, I CHOOSE to birth naturally, the way nature intended.
If your biggest concern for me is...
- Pain: well you really shouldn't be worried about it. It's my body, my sensations, and I am taking birthing classes that have a very high success rate in having a comfortable (yes, I said it), relaxing birth. While pain is undoubtedly a physical sensation, it also is very mental. If I go into this thinking "Oh dear God, this is going to be the worst pain of my life, it will be a miracle if I make it through. What if I can't handle it?" Well then yea, I'm going to experience pain. But if I go into it training my mind to feel pain as pressure and embrace my birthing waves (contractions) as one step closer to meeting my baby instead of freaking out every time one starts, then I CAN have an easy, comfortable birth. And that's exactly what I plan on having. Mind over matter! And no do not take this as ignorance, especially those of you who have had a baby. Quite honestly you can tell me all day long how your birth hurt like hell, but did you mentally prepare for it using self hypnosis and deep relaxation tools? No? Ok then. I am happy that your choice in getting an epidural "was the best decision you ever made", but to me it is not. More on why later.
If your biggest concern for me is...
- Pain: well you really shouldn't be worried about it. It's my body, my sensations, and I am taking birthing classes that have a very high success rate in having a comfortable (yes, I said it), relaxing birth. While pain is undoubtedly a physical sensation, it also is very mental. If I go into this thinking "Oh dear God, this is going to be the worst pain of my life, it will be a miracle if I make it through. What if I can't handle it?" Well then yea, I'm going to experience pain. But if I go into it training my mind to feel pain as pressure and embrace my birthing waves (contractions) as one step closer to meeting my baby instead of freaking out every time one starts, then I CAN have an easy, comfortable birth. And that's exactly what I plan on having. Mind over matter! And no do not take this as ignorance, especially those of you who have had a baby. Quite honestly you can tell me all day long how your birth hurt like hell, but did you mentally prepare for it using self hypnosis and deep relaxation tools? No? Ok then. I am happy that your choice in getting an epidural "was the best decision you ever made", but to me it is not. More on why later.
-Being at birth center and not a hospital: Like I said earlier, birthing in a hospital is a new thing and obstetricians have been delivering babies for about the same length of time. Birth used to be attended by midwives. Today in certain other countries, 70-80% of births are attended by a midwife, where the number is around 11% here. And funny thing is, the maternal and fetal death rates are lower over there.. hmm. Now, picture this (impromptu fantasy birth lol)... I have started my early birthing time, and when I feel that it is time to head into the birth center, we pack up and go. Upon arriving, I am welcomed lovingly and quietly by one nurse, and one midwife (generally). I am escorted to my own large (hotel room size) private room immediately. I didn't have to stop at a desk and sign paperwork or be put in triage until my room was ready. I get to go immediately to my place of birth and relax how I see fit. I can lay on the double size bed, dim the lights, light some candles and plug my iPhone into the iHome dock they have. Then I decide to get into the jacuzzi tub because I'm sure that will feel amazing. The room contains just Jake and I and the midwife and/or nurse comes into check on me periodically. All she does is place a doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat, hears that it's fine, and walks out of the room. She of course is there to answer any questions or provide assistance if we need it. They understand we have chosen the "Hypnobabies" birthing method which means peace and quiet and little intervention. They respect and understand this, so they keep their voices quiet, and talk to Jake if they need any information, allowing me to labor peacefully and uninterrupted. Jake offers me sips of Gatorade to keep up my energy and crackers if I want them. We are really enjoying this time together, alone. The time comes where my BODY tells me to push, and no one tells me I can't (unless there is a very valid reason) so the midwife comes in listens to the heartbeat and checks my dilation. She see's I am 10cm and I can push how and whenever I'd like. I am still in the tub at this point, and it feels so nice to be buoyant and warm. My body takes over and pushes involuntarily and the baby easily moves down farther and farther with ease. Since I'm pushing the way my body is telling me to, I likely will not tear. I all of the sudden can feel the head, and Jake can reach in the water and help me push/pull the baby out. I get to lean back in the tub and put him directly on my chest. He stares up at me with eyes wide open, probably quiet and taking in everything. He came into this world so peacefully and has no drugs in his system, he is doing great. I get to hold my baby until I deliver the placenta. Afterwards, we move to the bed where baby is laying right beside me while the nurse checks his vitals and weighs him. Baby is never out of my sight or out of reach. Jake, me and the baby then all lay in the bed together and soak in our new little family, uninteruppted. Now, sounds amazing right? Yea, I thought so, too, which is why I choose a birth center over a staunch, loud, sterile hopsital. Now if anything were to go awry, the nurses and midwives are VERY highly trained and can discern any troubles. If there was a need to get me to a hospital, there is one 5 minutes away, and the midwife comes with me to ensure I still can have a peaceful birth, even in a hospital.
Those are the two biggest issues people have when I tell them I plan on birthing naturally. So I hope that answers your concern.
BUT if all I have to do is get a dose of a drug that will rock my world and make labor that much more amazing, why won't I? Here I go.. bare with me...
Well, for starters, my chance of getting induced goes up because epidurals can slow down labor, meaning another drug will need to be added. A synthetic form of oxytocin (a drug your body already creates during labor) called Pitocin will be given (sometimes other drugs are used, but this is the most common) but there is a problem here: epidurals mixed with Pitocin counter act one another. The epidural relaxes your body while the Pitocin is working hard to make those contractions strong. So since you had an epidural, you can't feel your contractions and your body is having a hard time figuring out what to do. Well, now you're not progressing so crank up the Pitocin, but then you start feeling some pain because the contractions are going hardcore so you request for the epidural to be stronger and round and round it goes.. all while causing fetal distress. And then, when you haven't progressed fast enough (because yes you are on a time clock at the hospital) your doctor tells you a C-section is looming if you don't get this baby out. Great, just what you want to hear, especially when you can't feel what the hell your body is doing. Do you push, do you not? And let's not forget you are strapped to about 5 machines (catheter, IV, fetal heart rate monitor, blood pressure cuff and the epidural itself) so you certainly aren't doing a thing besides laying on your back. Which by the way is the stupidest position for laboring. Do you lay down to take a crap? If you do, please share with me because I'd love to hear how that works out. It has been shown that women on average can reduce their labor by 8 hours by changing positions based on what their body is telling them to do (squat, kneel on all fours, sit on the toilet, get in a tub). Not only that, women's bodies have a special hinge at the base of their tailbone that can move backwards when the baby descends through the birth canal. How is that going to happen when you're on your back and the bed is in the way of your tailbone? Also, you are really fighting gravity if you think about it. Add to this the fact that you are not allowed to eat or drink.. oh but you CAN have ice chips!!! Delicious! Just what I wanted. Do marathoners starve themselves or eliminate their water intake on race day? Uhh no, and neither should you. How can you perform the most challenging feat of your life with no nutrients? You are sure to get tired very quickly. All of these conditions are prohibiting you to get your baby out into the world because you are wearing yourself out, and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen if the doctors don't intervene quick. Now you may be a little scared because you did not want to have a C-section (it is MAJOR surgery, by the way, and should not be taken lightly) and your natural endorphins and oxytocin levels are depleting, which can stall labor even more. Environmental factors play a big part in the laboring process. I mean you've got 3 nurses coming in to check on you occasionally, bright lights beaming on you and your vajayjay, monitors beeping and blinking, oh and let's not forget the 2 new resident students that are there to "learn" from your birth. Not only is the room not very "cozy" but you've got anywhere from 3-8 (maybe more!) people in the room looking down on your most intimate parts and while you're in your most vulnerable state. Yea I think it's safe to say you don't feel very relaxed and comfortable. Add all of these factors together and you are on the fast track to the O.R. if you don't hurry up. I'm hoping with all of this going on, you are able to push the baby out and all is well. If you managed to have an amazing birth after all of that, well that is awesome! But it's not very likely or common. It is a known fact that 1 in 3 births end in C-section in the US, do you know that is one of the highest rates in a developed country? And we also have one of the highest maternal mortality rates. Go figure. Are you starting to see the severity of this?
Those are the two biggest issues people have when I tell them I plan on birthing naturally. So I hope that answers your concern.
BUT if all I have to do is get a dose of a drug that will rock my world and make labor that much more amazing, why won't I? Here I go.. bare with me...
Well, for starters, my chance of getting induced goes up because epidurals can slow down labor, meaning another drug will need to be added. A synthetic form of oxytocin (a drug your body already creates during labor) called Pitocin will be given (sometimes other drugs are used, but this is the most common) but there is a problem here: epidurals mixed with Pitocin counter act one another. The epidural relaxes your body while the Pitocin is working hard to make those contractions strong. So since you had an epidural, you can't feel your contractions and your body is having a hard time figuring out what to do. Well, now you're not progressing so crank up the Pitocin, but then you start feeling some pain because the contractions are going hardcore so you request for the epidural to be stronger and round and round it goes.. all while causing fetal distress. And then, when you haven't progressed fast enough (because yes you are on a time clock at the hospital) your doctor tells you a C-section is looming if you don't get this baby out. Great, just what you want to hear, especially when you can't feel what the hell your body is doing. Do you push, do you not? And let's not forget you are strapped to about 5 machines (catheter, IV, fetal heart rate monitor, blood pressure cuff and the epidural itself) so you certainly aren't doing a thing besides laying on your back. Which by the way is the stupidest position for laboring. Do you lay down to take a crap? If you do, please share with me because I'd love to hear how that works out. It has been shown that women on average can reduce their labor by 8 hours by changing positions based on what their body is telling them to do (squat, kneel on all fours, sit on the toilet, get in a tub). Not only that, women's bodies have a special hinge at the base of their tailbone that can move backwards when the baby descends through the birth canal. How is that going to happen when you're on your back and the bed is in the way of your tailbone? Also, you are really fighting gravity if you think about it. Add to this the fact that you are not allowed to eat or drink.. oh but you CAN have ice chips!!! Delicious! Just what I wanted. Do marathoners starve themselves or eliminate their water intake on race day? Uhh no, and neither should you. How can you perform the most challenging feat of your life with no nutrients? You are sure to get tired very quickly. All of these conditions are prohibiting you to get your baby out into the world because you are wearing yourself out, and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen if the doctors don't intervene quick. Now you may be a little scared because you did not want to have a C-section (it is MAJOR surgery, by the way, and should not be taken lightly) and your natural endorphins and oxytocin levels are depleting, which can stall labor even more. Environmental factors play a big part in the laboring process. I mean you've got 3 nurses coming in to check on you occasionally, bright lights beaming on you and your vajayjay, monitors beeping and blinking, oh and let's not forget the 2 new resident students that are there to "learn" from your birth. Not only is the room not very "cozy" but you've got anywhere from 3-8 (maybe more!) people in the room looking down on your most intimate parts and while you're in your most vulnerable state. Yea I think it's safe to say you don't feel very relaxed and comfortable. Add all of these factors together and you are on the fast track to the O.R. if you don't hurry up. I'm hoping with all of this going on, you are able to push the baby out and all is well. If you managed to have an amazing birth after all of that, well that is awesome! But it's not very likely or common. It is a known fact that 1 in 3 births end in C-section in the US, do you know that is one of the highest rates in a developed country? And we also have one of the highest maternal mortality rates. Go figure. Are you starting to see the severity of this?
Everything I just explained there is just the tip of the iceberg.. it's amazing what you will find out if you do the research. But what really saddens me is that a lot of women don't know any of this. There is so much knowledge out there at your finger tips!! Not only will you find things above like I just described (and more), but you will find a lot of positive information about how amazing the female body works if we would leave it alone and let it do it's thing. Examples: nipple stimulation and kissing your partner can speed up labor (it's the truth, I swear!), relaxing your jaw and mouth helps to open your cervix, pushing out a baby on all fours greatly increases the chance of getting a baby out with shoulder dystocia (when the shoulders are stuck), a spoonful of honey can boost your energy just enough to push that last push... and the knowledge goes on and on! It really amazes me how uneducated mothers are when it comes to childbirth when it's the most important moment of your life. There has been extensive research done on the benefits of birthing naturally, just tap into it. Or are you scared that I might be right? I'm not saying I'm right, you're wrong, but at least I'm educating myself instead of just going with the flow.. I mean this is my body and my CHILD, why wouldn't I be this passionate about it?
Last but not least.. I am SO ready to have this baby in this very special way so I can stop defending my position on the topic. Once it's over, it will be so much easier for me to say, "I birthed naturally, had an amazing birth and would do it again 1000 times!" That outta shut you up ;)
BOOM. And I'm done. Hope I made myself clear. It's really not that complicated people.
Last but not least.. I am SO ready to have this baby in this very special way so I can stop defending my position on the topic. Once it's over, it will be so much easier for me to say, "I birthed naturally, had an amazing birth and would do it again 1000 times!" That outta shut you up ;)
BOOM. And I'm done. Hope I made myself clear. It's really not that complicated people.
PS I probably have to state yet another disclaimer that I do not condone anyone who has or plans to have their birth in a hospital with the assistance of an epidural. I just hope it is an experience you can look back on with true joy and accomplishment. And if that is true, then I am TRULY happy for you... I am glad you got to experience it in a way that is right for you.
I had a premature birth, so there really wasn't anyway I couldn't be at the hospital. He was measuring at under 4 pounds, but the machines were wrong! When he came out he was 5 lbs 13 oz! I got an epidural and LOVED it. I don't do well with pain... I was in labor for 19 hours, but pushed for only 5 minutes before I saw my baby.
ReplyDeleteI have respect you for choosing this way. Remember when you're in labor that you have to write a BIG, LONG, DETAILED birth story because I am really interested to hear how it goes. To make myself feel better, I'm probably going to have my second at the hospital again. But, if everything goes good (I had major complications with my first), then I will seriously consider doing it the natural way. I love the idea of the atmosphere... Dim lights and music playing, that is so nice.
Seriously, though, I am going to be on the lookout for this birth story!
Stay in touch! Good luck, mama!
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